Keep calm and suit up.
Law student; law nerd.
Constantly seeking inspiration and motivation at the bottom of wine bottles.
Me. THIS IS ME.
I’ve been feeling a lot of envy and guilt lately. I think I need to go to confession. I can do a lot of “immoral” things and not think twice about going to church for it, but when my dad points out to me that something I’m doing is a sin, I know it’s serious.
Envy (noun): A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.
The law school is filled with three-hundred-and-thirty-nine students, most of which are assholes that I can’t stand. Of those three-hundred-and-thirty-nine students, I’ve managed to find the small .04% of down to earth individuals that I’m lucky enough to call friends.
A few weeks ago, something great happened to one of my closest and most dearest law school friends. Something that should make me very happy for him … but, instead, has caused me to resent him. And I hate myself for it.
Our school offers a community mentorship program where students can be paired with a practicing attorney in the community based on what the student’s career plans are. I tried the mentorship program last year but really didn’t find that it provided me any additional benefit since my mentor ended up being my supervisor at the County Attorney’s Office.
Anyhow, I didn’t sign up for the mentorship program this year, but my friend did and he got paired with one of the douchiest attorneys I have ever met … BUT Mr. Douche works for one of the best criminal defense firms in the state.
My cynical comments about Mr. Douche had made my friend skeptical about meeting his new mentor. However, on the night they met, the two instantly hit it off. My friend noticed that he is quite the arrogant asshole, but definitely someone worth knowing at least.
Two weeks after their initial meeting, Mr. Douche offered my friend a clerkship at the firm he works for. My friend already had a clerkship, but quickly put in his two-weeks notice and is now working side by side with some of the state’s most recognized attorneys in the criminal defense field. The chances of him becoming an associate after graduation are almost guaranteed.
Needless to say — I hate him for it.
My passion is criminal law. I have had six different internships all pertaining to that area, both in prosecution and defense work, spanning over two counties. I have participated in a national jury selection competition. I have won two real jury trials. I’m at the top of my class. I have paid my dues! And do you think I have a job lined up after graduation? No.
My friend never even had a real interest in criminal law. It was something he could see himself doing, but thought the civil side was more his style. He doesn’t have any experience doing any criminal work. His gpa is lower than mine, as is his class rank. His one legal-related work experience has been clerking for a debt collection firm. Explain to me how this is fair?!
So, as you can see, I find it very hard to be happy for him, even though I know I should be. For years I have been hearing the phrase, “It’s all about who you know.” Fuck right it is. But I guess you could even say it’s more about how lucky you are. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that luck has never been too kind to me.